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Letter from Goa to My Mother
We are in Goa, which is really nice, and entirely different from the rest of
india...it was a Portuguese colony and really has a Mediterranean feel,
people are a lot more open and friendly than in either place we have been and it is generally very relaxed, which is nice. we have just been relaxing on
the beach during the day and going dancing at night and i have been trying
to talk to a lot of people which is always a good thing.
I feel pretty good all in all, I don't know if I mentioned in previous
emails that I have been going through some hard times, for a number of
reasons....a lot of it is about letting go of things that are impermanent I
suppose, like attachment to things that make up your self, or idea of your
self...it has been actually very difficult for me to find balance between
being open and being on guard, between being myself and changing myself to
suit the social standards of the culture that is hosting me, between being
independent and realizing my reliance on others...it has been challenging
but also good, an opportunity for growth and learning.
The ashram was interesting...Sai Baba was in Whitemfield when we were first in Bangalore, so we were there for Christmas, and then we went to
Puttaparthi which was a whole different story, very peaceful and conducive
to reflection and meditation, as an ashram should be i suppose. the day
starts early, around 5 with people singing bhajans and then lining up for
morning darshan, there are lectures and gardens and shrines and then more
bhajans and darshan in the afternoon, and then lights out at nine. the
schedule wasn't really happening because he wasn't there until the day before
we left but it was still nice...quiet. the day that he came back though was
something else...tens of thousands of people lined the streets to welcome
him and shower him with flowers and songs and so on...for miles and miles
down the road between Whitefield and Puttaparthi (200kms) it was like
this...I have never seen devotion on that scale and of that intensity ever
before...it was really amazing...in the museum at the ashram i read
something about devotion, how the purpose of devotion is to direct all of
your energy outside of your self in order to open yourself up to the
divine....i had never though about that before. i would like to read diana's
book "darshan"...have you read it?
i don't know what we are going to do tonight, but there are a lot of raves
here which is fun... i love dancing under the stars with thousands of
people...there is a very particular kind of energy that comes from
that...remember we were talking about that when we went dancing in lisbon?
i am thinking of you every minute...i was really sad not to talk to you on
christmas but i hope you had a good day...vish and i went to midnight mass
at a catholic church in bangalore which was nice, it felt good to connect with
something that we have always done on christmas even though it was different in interesting ways. i have a copy of the sermon...i will send or show it to you sometime. i have some other things to send you...but i will probably
wait until i get to auroville on the 5th...
i love you so much... happy new year to you!
sabrina
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